Dominic Walsh, The Times, May 2009

The demonisation of drink has taken a sinister new twist. The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) seems hell-bent on ensuring the advertising of alcohol should be so po-faced and prudish as to render the whole medium pointless.

Two recent cases set a dangerous precedent. First was a TV advert for Magners in which a man strolled into a bar while a pint of Magners was being poured. The voiceover states: "Magners Draught Cider. It's the perfect icebreaker. Making sure the conversation flows, in the time it takes to create a cool, crisp pint."


Although Magners' ads can sometimes be a little too whimsically Irish, this one struck me as pretty well constructed, with the mention of "icebreaker" being a neat play on the usual over-ice method of serving it. All it took was one idiot member of the public to make a complaint and those killjoys at the ASA to turn a harmless ad into a sinister plot to turn us all into bellicose, vomiting binge-drinkers.


The ASA ruled the references to "icebreaker" and "conversation flows" were likely to be understood by viewers to carry the implication that drinking Magners could help the conversation flow in a social setting, leading to social success. Ye Gods!!


A similar theme was adopted by Wells & Young's Brewing Company in its £2m campaign to promote Courage ale. A man on a sofa wrestling with the issue of whether his girlfriend's bum looked big in a figure-hugging dress is urged by the beer's slogan to Take Courage. Those asses at the ASA decided to uphold the opinions of three idiots who complained the poster implied beer would encourage the man to make negative comments about the woman or take advantage of her. What planet do the dimwits at the ASA inhabit?


But these rulings are no laughing matter and the implications could be huge. If the Take Courage slogan that has been used for over 50 years without causing offence can effectively be deemed off-limits, then it's only matter of time before the ASA waves a red card at Fuller's popular tagline Whatever you do, take Pride.

In fact, I'm going to lodge a complaint myself. The concept of anyone taking pride in what they drink is clearly a dangerous and malevolent concept calculated to cause drunken anarchy across Britain.

Dominic Walsh covers the drinks and hospitality sectors for The Times

• Harpers Says...