Education is everything

Despite some pretty strenuous efforts on a skiing holiday in 1987, I have only slept with one German. And he wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind. It was a chaste night that Markus and I spent together. Thankfully. And what pillow-talk we did enjoy focused mostly on Germany's "Geiz ist Geil" discounting culture and its impact on wine sales.

In fact, we were thrust together - an inappropriate choice of words, I should add - by the Institute of Masters of Wine. It's a marvellous, well-organised body. And that's something I'd say, even if I wasn't re-taking my tasting papers next year. But for Markus and I, our first night on the Austrian residential seminar was like a scene from Carry on Tasting. He, a Teutonic Bernard Bresslaw cosying up to my bald Sid James after it was revealed there weren't quite enough beds to go around.

As luck would have it, sleeping with Germans pays off in the end. Between the sheets I learned a great deal about adding value to wine in a harsh, economic climate. About moving customers away from solely price-based deals. And also that "Geiz ist Geil" translates loosely as "stinginess makes me horny" - just what you want to hear when a German you met an hour earlier tucks up the duvet and turns out the light.

Threatened as we are by oppressive legislators, cash-strapped consumers and empty-pocketed banks, it may seem odd to suggest that people take the time and cash at the moment to invest in the MW - or indeed the MS, WSET Diploma or Wine MBA. Particularly when the two-year study programme, dissertation and likelihood of exam retakes can make the MW seem such a long-term challenge.

But my experience is that simply being on the programme makes you more capable, knowledgeable and - importantly - employable. It gives you tools to add value to the wines you sell, as well as to those to whom you sell them. And it gives you access to an unrivalled global network of wine professionals from whom you can learn. "Study the MW and sleep with Germans" might attract attention as a slogan, but it won't lure many. "Study the MW and advance your career" may sound dull, but it is true.

Joe Fattorini is a trade sales manager at Bibendum as well as a journalist and wine writer

• Harpers Says...