PETER MAYLE's feature starts off with a headline: Why I hate wine snobs'. The Provenal author discusses his introduction to winespeak, which sounds suspiciously like it came courtesy of Berry Bros & Rudd or maybe Justerini & Brooks. Does anyone own up to being Michael'? He goes on to discuss the dizzying range of verbal acrobatics: often imaginative, sometimes ludicrous, occasionally elegant ("a wine that should be drunk kneeling, in the position of prayer" - was one of my favourites)'.